this happened two weeks ago.
it was 4 a.m. at that time. i was comforting myself to sleep when thoughts of slashing my own wrists suddenly flashed through my mind. a small voice popped out of nowhere saying," come on.. just one swish of a blade,and all the pain would go away...come on, dear...get the blade!". i shouted back(glad that my roomates were not there),"no way! i don't want to!". but the voice was persistent. it keep pushing me to the edge. "you are in deep pain right? and you can't take it anymore. a slash in your wrist would finish all that crap you are feeling.go ahead. get the blade!" i was beginning to like the suggestion. right!i really am in deep pain. and i can't take it no more. maybe i should do it. i closed my swollen eyes as i shook in fear at that thought of the blade touching my skin. blood would ooze out and slowly drip from my wrist. and then it hit me! blood oozing out from my own wrist? woah! no way! cowardice got the best of me. i aborted the idea just because i am afraid of blood. i just shooed away the small voice and prayed to God for healing(and sanity!). sigh! it pays to be a coward sometimes.
"i am a depressed because of...(i'd rather keep the reason to myself). i can't bear all the events that had taken place. it consumed all the strength i had that the idea of suicide was appealing to me at that time."
it was 4 a.m. at that time. i was comforting myself to sleep when thoughts of slashing my own wrists suddenly flashed through my mind. a small voice popped out of nowhere saying," come on.. just one swish of a blade,and all the pain would go away...come on, dear...get the blade!". i shouted back(glad that my roomates were not there),"no way! i don't want to!". but the voice was persistent. it keep pushing me to the edge. "you are in deep pain right? and you can't take it anymore. a slash in your wrist would finish all that crap you are feeling.go ahead. get the blade!" i was beginning to like the suggestion. right!i really am in deep pain. and i can't take it no more. maybe i should do it. i closed my swollen eyes as i shook in fear at that thought of the blade touching my skin. blood would ooze out and slowly drip from my wrist. and then it hit me! blood oozing out from my own wrist? woah! no way! cowardice got the best of me. i aborted the idea just because i am afraid of blood. i just shooed away the small voice and prayed to God for healing(and sanity!). sigh! it pays to be a coward sometimes.
"i am a depressed because of...(i'd rather keep the reason to myself). i can't bear all the events that had taken place. it consumed all the strength i had that the idea of suicide was appealing to me at that time."
posted by kselle @ 5:22:00 PM,
